Bridging the gap

I'm delighted to read that Hans Rosenfeldt, lead writer and co-creator of Danish/Swedish thriller, The Bridge, will be in a webchat answering questions straight after the series two finale on BBC Four this coming Saturday night.

Here's an answer he's already given. "In real life Swedes and Danes can understand each other, but we don't understand each other as well they do in the show. The co-creators and I decided early in the process not to make anything of it. So every Dane speaks Danish and every Swede speaks Swedish."

Maybe he'll get a follow-up from Philomena Cunk, media expert on Charlie Brooker's Weekly Wipe.

Wait in lounge

Director of BBC North Peter Salmon has filled the seat on the European Broadcasting Union executive left vacant by Roger Mosey, Master of Selwyn College and irritator of Danny Cohen.

Wonder what that will do to the BBC's flight bill from Manchester - or, indeed, London ?

Pfui

An unholy trio of parliamentarians today ganged up on Lord Patten, increasing pressure on him as BBC Chairman to answer questions in person from Wild Bill Cash's European Scrutiny Select Committee.

Krazy Kate Hoey asked Leader of the House Andrew Lansley to have him winkled out from behind the Generously-Padded Kroll Sofa of Hushed Discussion in 180 Great Portland Street - and Speaker John Bercow opined that would be ok by him. Full details in the Express. Watch this space.

Dog with bone

Double-breasted Bill Cash, Chair of the European Scrutiny Select Committee, is not not done with Lord Patten. As we reported, our Chris has refused three invitations to give oral evidence to this group of MPs.

Here's the nuts of Cash's case...

260. We reject the assertion in Lord Patten's letter that our invitation to him to give oral evidence was "inappropriate". We fully respect the editorial independence of the BBC. But that does not mean that the BBC Trust is above Parliament, and should pick and choose its interlocutors here.

 261. The role of the BBC Trust, under the Charter, as it applied to this inquiry, was to be our focus in this session. We have already set out points on which we were seeking further evidence from the BBC Trust, particularly in the light of the Prebble Review (which was commissioned by the Trust). Supplementary written evidence from the BBC quoted Lord Patten as stating, with regard to the particular subjects to be covered by the Prebble review—religion, Europe and immigration—that "we've been criticised in those areas and we think it's very important to listen to that criticism, not necessarily because it's right but because it reflects real and interesting concerns."

 262. We publish our exchanges of letters with Lord Patten alongside this Report. We do not see why it is "inappropriate" to question—in public—a publicly-funded organisation on a review it has conducted, and what it will be doing to follow up that review. The BBC Trust's defensiveness on this point is deeply disappointing and the broad-brush nature of the refusal will be of interest to all Select Committees. We invite, as part of the follow-up to this inquiry, the BBC (including the Chairman of the BBC Trust), to give oral evidence in the spring of 2014, to set out what follow-up actions have been taken in the light of the Prebble Review, and to take forward the points raised in correspondence and in our supplementary questions, on such key matters as broadcasting decisions, complexity and explanation, the Prebble Review and Charter Obligations.

No no no

Thrice nay, from the BBC Trust.  An exasperated Lord Patten (St Benedict's and Balliol, Oxford) has turned down three invitations from self-effacing Bill Cash MP (Stonyhurt and Lincoln, Oxford) to appear in front of his European Scrutiny Select Committee, to discuss BBC coverage of the EU.

In his most recent refusal, you can detect the good Lord's own turn of phrase... "Let me write this one, Kroll."

As part of our role I and my colleagues appear quite properly in front of the Culture, Media and Sport Select Committee and the Public Accounts Committee, and neither attempts to engage with us — as you are proposing to do — on the editorial decisions of the BBC. Since becoming BBC Trust Chairman in May 2011, I myself have appeared before these two committees a total of six times....... 

We wonder if you have considered that the result of you asserting your right to call me before your committee on this issue is that BBC Trustees could in future be required to appear before any select committee to discuss the coverage of the BBC in its particular area of responsibility. It is not therefore beyond the bounds of possibility to conceive that in quite short order we could be expected to answer to say the Home Affairs Committee on the BBC's coverage of that area, or the Foreign Affairs Committee on international stories. We can't believe that is what was intended when the Royal Charter was drafted and we do not believe that it is consistent with the ideal of an independent Trust protecting the BBC from undue political interference.

On Bodmin Moor b'aht 'at

Of course you would. Film Jamaica Inn, or at least part of it, in Yorkshire. Especially when you've got the backing of Screen Yorkshire, and their Yorkshire Content Fund, with £7.5m of European Regional Development Funding burning a hole in their pocket.

The same source helped with money for the Birmingham setting of Peaky Blinders.

Tune news

The Eurovision Song Contest lost out in the average overnight ratings this year to Britain's Got Talent - 7.7m against 8.8m. There've been two wins for the songfest in the past five years - in 2011, a combination of Blue and Jedward drove the audience up to 9.5m (from the lowest ever 5.5m in 2010); and last year BGT left the field to Norway v England, the friendly that marked the start of Roy Hodgson's reign as manager.

Odds and ends

BBC weather forecaster Louise Lear tries to add to the richness of the profession's vocabulary. Today, it'll be "quieter".

Twitter spots Lord Patten "looking weary", as he introduces former chair Gavyn Davies lecturing on a 2020 Vision for the BBC at the Said Business School in Oxford. In the audience, acting DG Tim Davie is apparently "alert".

BBC Breakfast effortlessly trails full coverage of the Cameron Europe speech on The News Channel; Today messes about, and still can't bring itself to mention Radio 5 Live. One wag suggests "they'd rather trail LBC". A cultural question for Lord Hall, self-professed progenitor of the news and sport network...

Yes, but is it art ?

I find it mildly amusing that the BBC can't work out how much it costs to enter the Eurovision Song Contest. Or will they have the gall to come up with one of those FOI replies which says "the information you have requested is excluded from the Act because it is held for the purposes of ‘journalism, art or literature.’" ?

Hail, Cesar

In some of the many dark moments of last night's football, memories of Carry On Cleo and other films drifted in and out of my mind.

Exposure

Those helpful journalists at CBS decided to present their evening news last night from London, to cover the Eurozone crisis. The second item was an interview with Chancellor George Osborne.  To give the Americans a sense of heritage, the lead in features Gideon descending the staircase at Number 11.  No-one on the camera crew bothered to suggest that our "top treasury official" might like to tuck his shirt in.

Bum notes

Swedish songwriters have written this year's entry for Sweden - Euphoria, by Loreen - and they've also had a hand in eight others that will be belted out in the Crystal Hall, Baku at the end of May. Spain, Italy, Norway, Malta, Ireland, Cyprus, Greece and Finland have all turned to Swedes in the hope of a Euro-win.

The people of Austria may wish that they had as well. Their chosen ditty is by a charmless duo called Trackshittaz - the tv director may get a call from the BBC asking if their logo can be avoided.  Their song is called "Woki mit deim Popo". Here's an English translation of the lyrics, by someone called Effily - I can't tell whether it's an improvement on the original (there are readers who will let me know, I'm sure), but it has it's moments. Probably not suitable for reading aloud at work.

Shake your bum

We are ready, jewellery 24 carat, our beer has 12 degrees
Dialect, yeah, the two of us are stars, looting bars, we are ready
And all the people shout: “Heya heya hey”
We are party indians, wear feathers on the head

And now get your bosom out, the noodle soup gang arrives
Rednecks, yay, haven’t seen such exuberance for a long time
And they dance and they shake at the pole, at the ceiling
I am enchanted, rednecks, look how they sprawl, uh-huh…

Come on, shake your bum, shake your (ooh ooh) Shake your bum, yeah, yeah, that’s the way I like it Come on, shake your bum, shake your (ooh ooh) Shake your bum, as you are what I want

And I enter the club, the ladies have fine jewellery
But it’s there, there, where you don’t expect it at first
I only look at her, she dances at the strip pole
I’m ready, chap, lots of women, I don’t miss out on anything
"Noodle soup gang, what’s up?” and everybody shouts: “Ho ho”
And women are dancing, they only go low, low
She twists me around her finger, she wants a winner, winner

Your bum has feelings, your bum is a part of you
Don’t put it on chairs, your bum has an opinion, yeah
Your bum wants movement, so shake, shake, shake
Your bum wants encounters, come on, give it what it needs
Your bum doesn’t get tired, your bum tells something about you
Come, shake it, it wants it, so that the house starts vibrating
Your bum has to be ready, so shake, shake, shake
Your bum has to be ready, come on, give it what it needs

Turkey shoot

I can't imagine how long the BBC dry run for today's Culture Select Committee lasted. The MPs are supposed to be quizzing Lord Patten, Mark Thompson and Zarin Patel on the Annual Report. But chairman John Whittingdale will have his work cut out keeping the guns away from new business - zoo births on Frozen Planet, the Eurow, and Delivering Quality First by a retreat from English local radio and a surrender to Sky of half of live F1 coverage.

In News, Helen Boaden has blogged a defence of the BBC's coverage of the past week. Commenters are already piling in, saying she merely asserts the reporting has been impartial, without serious analysis. Thanks to the Michael Lyons legacy, and Lord Patten's past, the BBC Trust will have to offer some sort of "Impartiality Seminar" - a new nightmare for whichever hack has to do the prep.  

Eurow

The BBC is always on a hiding to nothing in reporting the early stages of big Euro stories - and needs common sense and nerve to face down the usual suspects, who are already nipping at its ankles.

Nobody really knows the detail of what France and Germany want in a new treaty/accord/agreement. Cameron, stiffened by Bojo, sought a guarantee he knew Sarkozy would not give - no new taxes that might affect the Stock Exchange. But saying the UK would play along with a new deal would have been really unlikely - why sign up blind to a new tighter common financial regime, and end up with all the problems of a common currency, without actually joining the Euro ?

In the long term, the test of Cameron's stance is the health of the UK economy; others would have you see it as the value of sterling against the Euro. And that's where, eventually, we need some global thinking. At the moment, the value of any currency is determined not against absolute judgements, but the opinions of currency speculators, who, through computer algorithms or whim, can drive a currency down to make handsome profits - and by so called "credit rating agencies", whose record is partial. The gold standard and petro-dollars, corn futures and the rest are no more stable as measures. The world's politicians need to move towards an agreed formula to appraise any currency, and move speculators away from the evil profits of money-changing, and back to an honest job of investing in companies that make and do things.

Meanwhile poor old Patten will have to face at least one daft bequest of the Lyons era before his time's up at the BBC - an impartiality seminar on Europe.  What fun !