Bum notes

Swedish songwriters have written this year's entry for Sweden - Euphoria, by Loreen - and they've also had a hand in eight others that will be belted out in the Crystal Hall, Baku at the end of May. Spain, Italy, Norway, Malta, Ireland, Cyprus, Greece and Finland have all turned to Swedes in the hope of a Euro-win.

The people of Austria may wish that they had as well. Their chosen ditty is by a charmless duo called Trackshittaz - the tv director may get a call from the BBC asking if their logo can be avoided.  Their song is called "Woki mit deim Popo". Here's an English translation of the lyrics, by someone called Effily - I can't tell whether it's an improvement on the original (there are readers who will let me know, I'm sure), but it has it's moments. Probably not suitable for reading aloud at work.

Shake your bum

We are ready, jewellery 24 carat, our beer has 12 degrees
Dialect, yeah, the two of us are stars, looting bars, we are ready
And all the people shout: “Heya heya hey”
We are party indians, wear feathers on the head

And now get your bosom out, the noodle soup gang arrives
Rednecks, yay, haven’t seen such exuberance for a long time
And they dance and they shake at the pole, at the ceiling
I am enchanted, rednecks, look how they sprawl, uh-huh…

Come on, shake your bum, shake your (ooh ooh) Shake your bum, yeah, yeah, that’s the way I like it Come on, shake your bum, shake your (ooh ooh) Shake your bum, as you are what I want

And I enter the club, the ladies have fine jewellery
But it’s there, there, where you don’t expect it at first
I only look at her, she dances at the strip pole
I’m ready, chap, lots of women, I don’t miss out on anything
"Noodle soup gang, what’s up?” and everybody shouts: “Ho ho”
And women are dancing, they only go low, low
She twists me around her finger, she wants a winner, winner

Your bum has feelings, your bum is a part of you
Don’t put it on chairs, your bum has an opinion, yeah
Your bum wants movement, so shake, shake, shake
Your bum wants encounters, come on, give it what it needs
Your bum doesn’t get tired, your bum tells something about you
Come, shake it, it wants it, so that the house starts vibrating
Your bum has to be ready, so shake, shake, shake
Your bum has to be ready, come on, give it what it needs