Thursday, May 28, 2020

Would Dominic have gone quietly ?

Marvellous. Durham Police say Mr Cummings 'may have' committed a minor breach of the Covid guidelines by driving from North Lodge Farm to Barnard Castle, but, because they would have only told him to go back, they're taking no further action.

The profiling department of Durham Police has clearly not been involved. The conversation would have gone:

"Excuse me, sir, where are you from ?"
"Islington"
"Driven up today, sir ? That's an off....."
"I'm staying on my family's farm near Durham"
"Well sir, you shouldn't be out just for a jaunt..."
"Look, officer, I've studied the guidelines and all my actions have and continue to be responsible, entirely legal and of integrity"
"I'm sorry, sir, we just want you to get in that car and....
"Do you know who I am ?"
"No, sir. If you could just...."
"Two metres, rozzer..."
"So just go back to the car..."
"Durham Police, eh ?  - swanning around, not delivering. You're dead to me". 
"All we'd like you to do is...
"Have you never heard of EXCEPTIONAL CIRCUMSTANCES ?  This is no jaunt, I'm in the middle of a very important test, making sure my eyesight is up to scratch so that I can drive back to London and run the country again..."
"Ah... then you'd better come with us. Cuff him, Arthur"

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