The Nine

The UK's longest nightly news show could be just too tiring to succeed. Hosts Martin Geissler and Rebecca Curran moved incessantly between the parquet floor of their open plan living room and the melamine breakfast bar, to positions, legs apart, where they reminded us of their top story and what was still to come. The choreography must have been exacting. Perhaps they relaxed afterwards with Alan Partridge and Jennie Gresham on catch-up.

There were some big chunks. We started with eight minutes on trying to understand Jeremy Corbyn's latest position on a referendum, complete with Adler/Kuenssberg substitutes and an interview with a Labour MSP, twisted too soon into the party's position on a second independence referendum. (The News at Ten gave ten minutes to the story, without mentioning a Scottish referendum).

There followed 11 minutes on people buying pills for thrills or pacification, through Facebook in south-west Scotland. I wonder how many viewers north of the border thought this might have been clearer with subtitles. One felt that the assertion, from the headline and presenters, that this might be happening in every Scottish town and village was pushing it a little.

Another five minutes was devoted to a gay trio explaining how their lives had been changed by the HIV preventative drug PREP. Nine minutes went to Chief News Correspondent Chris Cook puzzling over Brexit in Iceland.

In the last 25 minutes we drifted softer, with a discussion with the Scotland football and rugby union coaches - two guests outnumbered by three presenters. A short news in brief section fell apart with news of the Chagos Islands.   A largely fact-free interview at the breakfast bar on the impending demise of the Scottie dog followed; and then, an Outside Broadcast with the winner of The Greatest Dancer, from Scotland, produced no new insight.

A competent weatherman ended the show, bringing a virtual screen to the centre of the square dance, as dramatic as the Ed (Miliband) Stone of  the 2015 election. .