Pill

I sometimes wish there was a form of Opta statistics for politicians and their speeches.

In one of the opening games of the new Premier League season, Cardiff v Newcastle, Robert Kenedy Nunes Nascimentow, a Brazilian player on loan to Newsvastle from Chelsea, missed a late penalty that would have given his side victory - and failed to complete a pass in the whole of the first half, which hasn't happened for eight years.

New Culture Secretary Jeremy Wright spoke to the Edinburgh Television Festival yesterday. 942 words were assembled in a order almost designed to make no impact whatsoever over 5 minutes. Download the full version if you have trouble sleeping.