Jailhouse rock

In three weeks' time, we are asked to exercise our democratic rights yet again, in the final of the Eurovision Song Contest.

Jonathan King, in his latest column for Inside Times, the national newspaper for prisoners and detainees, reckons this year's British entry, from Electro Velvet, could end up with "nul points", producing traditional cell-banging outbreaks at Eurovision parties in the UK's correctional establishments. He suggests the BBC hire him again to turn things round.

Jonathan reckons he was the saviour of the Song Contest on the BBC, when he was asked by David Liddiment to help find winners for three years from 1995 - apparently Alan Yentob thought the BBC should drop the contest altogether. He discovered Love City Groove, Gina G and finally turned to Katriona and The Waves for Euro-victory, with Love Shine A Light.