School report

Patten wouldn't have let it happen. The BBC Trust's review of the performance of BBC1, BBC2, BBC3 and BBC4 is a rather pompous, we-know-best piece of writing, which will not go down well with Tony Hall and Danny Cohen.

It puts Cohen on a childish six-month report, to describe how he is "increasing the distinctiveness of its [television's] offer", particularly on BBC1.

It sniffs at the interactive and digital innovation record of BBC3, and wants more output to attract younger and BME viewers. Here's another failure in tone "The Trust will monitor performance of the BBC in serving different audience groups and report publicly on this area."

And, with no obvious public outcry in favour or against, it suggests more cross-scheduling of output, exhorting Television to collaborate more. Cheers, Mr Liddiment,  (now partly funded by Discovery Communications and Liberty Global - distinctive programming a speciality)

• You have to say that, given this graph below, the chances of the Trust biffing plans to close BBC3 as a linear channel are high. Here's the flight to older, posher viewers...