Twitchy

David Kermode, brought in by ITV to restore the breakfast audience, must be thinking the BBC was under-managed. The various leaks about his forthcoming non re-launch relaunch suggest high anxiety and a dozen or so differing opinions about what will do the trick.

Currently, according to the Daily Mirror, Lorraine Kelly will be the main presenter, and the show might even be called Lorraine. Unless they can think of something better, that's not Daybreak or GMTV - I quite fancy a little wager on "ITV Today".  Showbiz and tv previewer Richard Arnold is on his way back, and there's be a fairly straight "Newshour" between 6am and 7am, in the style of the old Penny Smith days.  Maybe they'll go the whole hog and get Keith Chegwin back to scamper round housing estates hoping to wake up housewives in negligees with a cheque.

I expect the downmarket pseudo-quizzes will stay. "What day of the week comes between Monday and Wednesday ?  Is it a) Tuesday b) a prawn c) Newcastle United ? - Calls cost £1...etc".

The answer to ITV's problems with this show used to be BBC Deputy DG Mark Byford, who would at least occasionally watch BBC Breakfast and insist that it carried some news. Now he's gone, it's open house for gormless discussions on kissing in public, why our children can't cook, and how history lessons aren't what they used to be - all now cast with Manc accents.  There's no room for GMTV below - maybe they should aim for higher ground ?

• I particularly enjoyed this stonewall from an ITV spokesman to the Mirror: “Creative renewal is ongoing, we are ­considering a number of options."