Trust thinking explained

There's always a lot of pseudo-scientific mumbo jumbo provided to back up BBC Trust reports - and none more so in the "final service review" of BBC One, Two and Four, which runs to 65 pages. I suppose they have to justify a year's work.  Here's my decoded version of the Key Findings, with Trust-like thorts appended.

BBC One and BBC Two are performing well in many respects. BBC One is the most watched channel in the UK while BBC Two’s reach is also substantial. In general, audiences recognise that both channels provide a high quality offering across all genres, and make strong contributions to delivering each of the BBC’s public purposes. We have, however, found some areas where both channels can improve, in particular to provide the distinctive offering that audiences expect from the BBC. We're ambivalent about SCD, downright disapproving of Walk On The Wild Side, hate Total Wipeout.  Comedy seems to be all stand-ups, chat shows and quizzes - where's a Hancock for the 21st Century ?

BBC One needs to harness its scale and size by being more ambitious and taking more creative risks in peak time. BBC Two should ensure it provides something which audiences recognise as being manifestly different from BBC One, even at the risk that BBC Two’s reach may fall. BBC management has developed programming plans that aim to address concerns that the levels of quality and ambition of parts of the daytime schedule are not meeting audience expectations. OK we've seen some evidence of Liam Keelan getting rid of a few chestnuts on daytime - Ready Steady Cook etc; we need more from the new boy Cohen on BBC1.  Deal with Holby, Casualty and Waterloo Road, which we don't watch. Create a Mad Men for the UK - and don't spend so much on Strictly.

The role of BBC One and BBC Two in delivering high impact current affairs to audiences is vital. BBC management has provided us with assurance over its plans for current affairs programming and we will track the impact of this output on audiences. Panorama is now too lightweight for our taste; give us some more 2100 blockbusters on BBC 1. The only current affairs brand you have on BBC 2 is Newsnight - why can't you make something like C4's Dispatches ?

Much of BBC Four’s programming is seen as high quality and distinctive by its audience. BBC Four does not, however, significantly influence wider audience perceptions of the BBC. BBC Four’s challenge is to increase its impact, particularly in its core areas of specialism, and secure a greater reputational dividend for the BBC, while also retaining its distinctive nature. We will also revise BBC Four’s remit to clarify our expectations of the channel.  Have you seen Sky Arts ?